Nothing is safe anymore. Tobias has figured out how to take off childproof doorknob covers and he now knows how to unlock a tulip lock using the prongs from his nightlight. As a result, he has gone on a bit of crime spree. Specifically, he breaks into the storage room and chews open containers of food. When I first saw the mess I thought we must have a serious rodent infestation. Then I noticed the bag. Chocolate chips. He has also eaten whole boxes of fruitsnacks and made mountain ranges out of cornflour. Good times.
Tobias, unfortunately, hears his fair share of insults being yelled by his big brothers. Lately, they have been making up insults by combining other words with the word "pants". For example, "Liar-pants!" "Baby-pants!" or the ever popular "Stupid-pants!" Tobias, after being hurt by his brother Benjamin tried to express his displeasure by yelling, "Benjamin you a hurt-me-again-pants!"
Tobias loves to say "no" and be just generally contrary. However, he doesn't just say "no". His preferred phrase is "No, not!" For example, "Tobias, are you tired?" "No, not!" "Tobias, we are getting in the van now." "No, not!" It is sometimes endearing, sometimes exasperating.
When Tobias makes a mistake or sees someone else slip up he says, "Oops daisy!" Sometimes he says this when I catch him doing something naughty like dumping out a Costco-sized container of jellybeans. It has the desired effect of quelling some of my anger. It's just so dang cute.
Recently, I witnessed a scene in our house that was straight out of a comic book, or possibly a British comedy skit. The boys were running around the circle that is made by our hallway, living room, dining room, kitchen, and family room. This is a fairly normal activity, but this time they genuinely seemed to be running away from something instead of just running. I watched them come hurdling around the corner. Weirdly they were in age-order. Gabriel, Elijah, David John, Benjamin and then I saw Tobias..... with a baseball bat. He had an evil gleam in his eye. I jumped up and confiscated the bat before he could hit someone. That kid is fast.
Tobias has a knack for getting me to do pretty much anything other than the task I am supposed to be doing. It is hard to resist his requests to read a book or play "Zingo!" Probably the most irresistible thing he asks is "Hold you." That means he wants to give me hugs and cuddles. Okay, buddy.
Tobias likes to stash things in interesting places. I find minion toys in my boots, marbles in my shoes and socks in the dirty diaper pail. Yeah, those got thrown away.
Tobias came inside sobbing hysterically and yelling "Stepped on crab! Stepped on crab!" It took me several tries to determine that that was actually what he was saying because.... what? That doesn't make any sense. I went outside to see what could possibly have happened and found a very stunned and very large striped beetle. Poor kid. Poor beetle. I didn't even know he knew the word "crab". I blame the Wild Kratts.
A mosquito landed on my arm one evening while we were outside on our back patio. Tobias helpfully tried to swat it off of me..... with a snowshovel. That kind of hurt. At least he had good intentions. I think.
When Tobias throws a tantrum I sometimes question our parenting. However, recently he named his babydoll Artoo Detoo. Yeah. We're good parents.
Tobias likes to put a blanket over his head and pretend to be a ghost. All of our boys have done this, but Tobias hasn't caught on that the appropriate thing to say as a ghost is "Booooooo!" Instead, our little blanket ghost wanders the house saying "Moooooo! Moooooo!" Yes. We are being haunted by a ghost cow. The specter of steaks past.
On our latest trip to the grocery store Tobias decided to wear his pirate hat. Before we left, he has me try it on and take a picture. He exclaimed, "Mommy! You a aarrrrgh!"
Love you little buddy.
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