Boy, Oh Boy!

David John started Joy School last week. There are six kids in our group- four darling little girls and two little boys. The other little boy has been on vacation so David John has been in the unprecedented position, for him, of being surrounded by girls. When I drop him off and see all the little girls quietly looking at books or doing puzzles it provides a sharp contrast to my wild man David John.
One of the first songs they learn in Joy School is called "Oh Boy! I've Got Joy". This got me thinking about the joy of being boys and my guys are definitely all boy. It's unfortunate that so many of the things that make them truly happy are frowned upon. As I've said to other people, in many ways I am having a unique parenting experience. I often feel "other" when I'm out with my boys and see everyone else's families. For example, over the summer our library had several activities for kids including crafts on Monday afternoons. We went to a couple of them. As you can imagine, trying to help four little people with crafts and keep a baby happy is challenging. The first time we went, the crafts involved paints. Each child could paint a caterpillar made out of an egg carton and pipe cleaner and he could also make a cool tire tracks print using paint and a toy car on paper.
Like all of the other moms, I gathered up the supplies for my crew and made a couple of paint palettes by putting daubs of all the various colors of paint on paper plates. I got everyone set up at a table with two boys sharing each paint palette. I then held Tobias on my hip and surveyed the room. Everywhere I looked there were families sitting at the tables and children painting their caterpillars in vivid colors. A library employee was walking around and photographing the fun. It was then that I looked down and saw, not caterpillars in vivid colors but rather earthworm-like-creatures which must have tunneled through some sort of toxic sludge because they were a mottled greenish-brownish-gray. Gone were the paint palettes and their vibrant hues. They had been replaced by what appeared to be mud pies.
So far the score was Boys- 1 Artistic Sensibilities- 0
We had a talk about how the colors might be prettier if we didn't mix them all up. The boys all agreed they'd like a fresh set of colors to do their car tracks painting with. So, I got new paints, a piece of paper and a car for each of them. I showed them how to drive their car through the paint and then make tracks on the paper. I can't remember exactly what happened next, I think someone sneezed and I wiped a nose, but the point is that I had to go throw something in the trash can. I came back to find that, once again, the colors had been turned into something resembling primordial ooze.
The photographer approached our table and asked in a chipper voice, "How are we doing?" I smiled at her but she was looking at my boys and the smile slid off her face while she lowered her camera. There was a demolition derby happening at our table. These cars weren't just driving through the paint, they were off-roading. They were crashing. They were flipping end over end. They were participating in high-speed chases. They were performing feats of automotive masculinity that would make the creators of "The Fast and the Furious" jealous. There were, of course, sound effects for all of this action. The cars were drenched as were the papers. Needless to say, no pictures of my boys or their art projects appeared in the library newsletter. Boys - 2 Artistic Sensibilities - 0
The crafts were done, but the fun wasn't over. I still needed to clean up. While I was busy doing that, my boys engaged in other awesome boy activities like splashing water all over the floor when they washed their hands and trying to tag each other with dripping fingers. They climbed towers of stacked chairs, closely inspected a projector and a large pull-down screen in the room. They played with a microphone and ran around the room screaming. They climbed under tables and chairs. It looked like fun. I felt bad that I kept having to say "no" and "don't" or "we aren't allowed to do that here".
I know we need rules and there are plenty in our house, but I hope you'll understand if, when you see my boys at a playground, I am letting them scale the outside of the play equipment or climb up the slide or pour sand through the holes. When there are a lot of other kids there, I try to rein them in so they aren't bad examples but gosh darn-it sometimes I just want my boys to be able to be boys without consequence. I love these crazy kids. They are exasperating, they are high-energy, they are creative, they are naughty, they are brilliant and funny. They are boys! I think I need to adapt the Joy School theme song to my life so that, when I am having a moment where I feel isolated from other families and their well-behaved children I can sing to myself, "Oh joy! I've got boys!"