Popcorn Popper 'Neath the Apricot Tree

Recently, an obituary was accidentally released prematurely for a public figure. This got Marc and I talking about celebrity obituaries and how they have to be written before-hand and constantly updated so that when someone passes away the media can immediately release their tribute. It occurred to us that we have someone in our family who has been living on borrowed time for years now. His name is Poplite. And he is our popcorn popper.


Poplite is just one in a long line of popcorn poppers that have joined our family. Sadly, most did not live past six months in our house. They all burned out after months of overuse. We eat a lot of popcorn. Somehow, Poplite has beaten the odds.

Poplite was made, like almost everything, in China. He then spent time in a series of warehouses and barges before settling in on a shelf at Kohls in Baltimore, MD. It was there that we first saw him and knew that he would be ours.

We always knew there was something special about Poplite. He sat, perched, atop our cabinets in our galley kitchen in our little row house. He saw us through years of medical school with Matt living in our basement. We would frequently have popcorn and smoothies for dinner while we sat on beanbags and watched shows on our tiny T.V.

Poplite was there when we brought our twins home from the hospital, there for the Thanksgiving dinner right before Matt and Gina's wedding, there when Joe threw up all over our living room floor. Poplite has moved with us from Baltimore to Cleveland and from Cleveland to Dickinson, ND. You would think that as he ages, Poplite might slow down but as each child has joined our family and grown into a voracious popcorn-eater Poplite has kept up with the demand.

In the almost nine years that he has been with us we figure that little Poplite has popped an approximate 2,976 batches of popcorn. That's 1,488 cups of popcorn. That's 800 pounds of white popcorn kernels that this Poplite has turned into fluffy white deliciousness.

So, you can see why when Poplite's time finally comes it will be devastating. The end of an era. I'm glad that we've got this little bio all ready because I'll be too distraught to write anything. We are seriously considering having a ceremony for this little guy. I just hope we can find an apricot tree to bury him beneath. Perhaps I'll even recite this poem.

Ode on a Presto Poplite
Oh Poplite, thou which lies in wait in cabinet dark
Silent and still, and then with electric spark
Roars to life to blow and burn
To break ope' the seeds which in thee turn
Softly falling down like rain to thy embrace
Those kernels cold and quiet, dead and grave
Awake! With heat find new life in this place
Transformed and flowing in white wave
Into the shining silver vessel
Tiny clouds which stack and nestle
And then nearly empty the spark departs. Stops.
The last remaining kernel pops.
And then away again goodnight.
To ever faithful thee, Poplite.