Live, Laugh, Love

Being a Mom is tough but since love is in the air I thought I should share the things that have made me laugh recently which makes me love my boys even more.


Benjamin hit his forehead really hard and it immediately started swelling. I said, "Ouch. That's quite the goose egg you're going to have." He looked at me with wide eyes and asked, "Is a goose going to come out of my face?!?"

There is a chain out here called Pizza Ranch which serves a buffet of pizza, fried chicken, salad and other sides. With a ranch theme, the decor has horseshoes and wagon wheels, cowboy hats, etc. We went there to celebrate the boys' good reports at parent teacher conferences. On the way one of the boys said, "I know why it's called Pizza Ranch. They have pizza, and they have ranch!" It's true, they do have ranch dressing at that salad bar.

Marc said something about his co-workers one day and David John said, "Wait. What? You have cow workers at the hospital?" Nope, sorry buddy. No bovine employees.

Some of the grocery stores have an attached liquor store. There's one attached to Walmart and we walk past the entrance on our way out fairly frequently. When passing one day David John asked, "Can we go to the liquid store? We never go to the liquid store." I had to explain what a liquor store was. He seemed shocked that there would be such a place. Who would want it?

If you have not seen or read the book The Book with No Pictures you should probably experience it once. In that book there is a character, mentioned only once, named Boo-Boo Butt. The fact that it is mentioned only once does not matter. That phrase is like glue in a little boy's brain. Now, when Tobias is really angry at me he yells, "Mommy Boo-Boo Butt!"

Driving around town one day we passed by Marc's clinic. Usually when we are out that direction we are going TO the clinic but that day we just drove by. Benjamin suddenly sat up and shouted, "Is that Daddy's work?!? That's crazy!"

While fresh salsa is the best, our boys will take ChiChi's brand as a close second. They don't say it chee-chees like most people do. No, they say chai-chis. It rhymes with righteous. Needless to say when they first asked us to pass the chai-chis at the table, we had no idea what they were talking about. We are loathe to correct them though. It's kinda cute.

Tobias has discovered that he can unlock almost any door in our house using his nightlight. We have those locks that have a slit on one side so that if you get locked out of the bathroom you can open it with a screwdriver. Well, he just unplugs his nightlight and uses the prongs like a screwdriver head. It's awesome. The other day I was changing clothes in my room with the door locked. Children were outside rattling the doorknob and trying to get in despite my telling them that I would be out in a minute. Then I hear Tobias's little voice, "It's locked? That's okay. I open it with my nightlight." Great. I guess we are going to have to get keyed locks.

David John sometimes confuses his idioms sometimes which is how he came to say, "It is as easy as a piece of cake." the other day. For some reason it reminded me of something the Star Trek Character Data might say. Maybe it's the lack of contractions?

We have movie night every Wednesday and recently we watched 101 Dalmations. My boys have been talking about 101 Dominations ever since. That does sound like a very interesting movie title. Although, I'm betting the content would be very very different.

"When the sun cries, it drips rain, right Momma?" I'll give you two guesses on who said that one. It has Benjamin written all over it.

"Mommy, you're not stupid," said Tobias. Thank you son. I'm not sure why that needed to be said. Were you operating with the theory that I was stupid and only now realized that maybe that isn't true?

Said by a child propping himself up with both arms and legs at the top of a door frame:
"Let's play 'Try Not to Get Smashed'. It's a game where you walk under me and I try to drop down and smash you."
Me: "That sounds like a dangerous game."
Child: "No, it doesn't hurt me."
Me: "I was thinking more about the people who would get smashed."
Child: (as if this was a very novel idea) "Oh. Hmm."

"It superpeared." I think this means disappeared. I hear it a lot in our house. To me, it sounds more like a dramatic and sudden entrance. Like if a person wearing a flashy sequined dress and twirling flaming batons instantly arrived in the middle of your living room, then you could say "She superpeared." Maybe they are indicating that when things disappear in our house it because of some supernatural force and not because they don't put things back where they belong. In that case, I think I will use it too. "Can you help me look for my keys? They superpeared through no fault of my own."

Last year for Christmas, I painted each boy a little wooden snake. Benjamin was playing with his recently when Elijah walked by.
Elijah: (doing a double take) "Where did you get that snake?"
Me: "It's the one I painted for him last Christmas."
Elijah: "Whoa! How did you paint that so good?"
Benjamin: (rolling his eyes as though this is the dumbest question of all time) "Um, she's a mother."
Boom. Love it Benjamin. Moms are pretty amazing.

I let Tobias talk to Grandma with my Bluetooth headset. He thought that was pretty cool. Afterward he said to me, "You have a bluetooth? You will wash it? My tooth white." He then flashed me his white tooth smile.

"Let's put these in the generator." I think I've heard this phrase used for refrigerator, dishwasher and putting numbers into a calculator. What do they think a generator is?

Gabe, after missing a week of gymnastics: "I hope I didn't disprove since last time." English language strikes again. It does seem like disprove would be the opposite of improve. Silly English.

The boys are really into knock knock jokes at the moment which is by turns endearing and maddening. Favorites include:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who, who?
Who who.
Who who who?
Why are you hooting? Are you an owl?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking!

Tobias really wanted to participate in the fun so he made up his own knock knock joke that he tells over and over again and laughs really hard at. It goes like this:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Eat it for dinner!

Just so you know, in our house books have a "Table of Continents" even if it's not an atlas.

Me: "Tobias, I love your blue eyes."
Tobias: "My eyes blue?"
Me: "Yep. Just like Mommy's eyes."
Tobias: (staring intently at my eyes) "No. You eyes white."

Benjamin was arguing with me the other day over whether or not he had to do something based on the meaning of the word I used.
Me: (to Benjamin) "Okay, Mr. Semantics"
Tobias: "I not Mr. Man Cakes!"
I laughed really hard about that one. I think I'll start calling Marc Mr. Man Cakes.