A Brief History of Time...

...specifically the last six months in the Ricks household. I keep a file on my phone of funny things the boys do or thoughts that I have that I might want to include in a blog post. Unfortunately, more often than not these do not get developed into a full blog post due to time and laziness and children. As I read over these little notes, I realized that maybe what I need is a twitter account. These little snippets are like small windows into my life. So, here are my notes that I never published from the recent past. In other words, this is my life in 140 characters or less.* **
*Mostly 140 characters are less
** With some side notes and embellishments

David John: Today we learned about taste bugs.
Me: Taste buds?
David John: No, bugs. They are on your tongue. They taste things for you.

At gymnastics, my child is the one seeing if his head can fit in the center of the octagonal mat while everyone else is doing handstands.

The best way to get a baby to eat something is to first throw it in the garbage. Then, he will dig it out and eat it.

"Mom, I will take this chapstick to gymnastics in case I run out of that smell."

Benjamin: I need a thing!
Me: What thing?
Benjamin: The thing I can't find! The thing for the other things!*
*It turns out he wanted a plastic container for his legos. He was super frustrated that I didn't immediately know what he was talking about.

Being a good wife means I can hear what my husband says, replace all the nouns and verbs and figure out what he actually means.

"One little mommy jumping on the bed, she fell off and bumped her head! Uh oh! That was my only mommy! I mean, that was my last mommy."*
*What? I had predecessors?!?!? How long did they last?

Me: Okay guys, we have time to do a quiet activity. (All the boys go down to the basement.)
Gabe: Hey guys, who wants to rock out in a band?!?

The only thing worse that running late with children is being early.

A truck in the parking lot suddenly shot backwards and almost killed us, but we're okay. As my child said, "At least we didn't catch any diseases."

My wrist is now too fat for candy bracelets. I think that's a sign. Maybe I should stop eating them?

My purse was lost. When I found it I was worried that someone may stolen my credit cards but then I realized that it would be impossible to find a credit card in the depths of my purse. Now where are my keys?

We gave our boys cards with pictures of temples to look at during the sacrament at church. We hoped it would help them be reverent. Instead, they made up a game called "Castle of Doom" complete with loud sound effects.

Overheard: "We have all the hot dogs in the world, so no one can defeat us! Bwahahaha!"

"It smells like barf..... or cheesecake."

"Are these balloons filled with floatium?"

My son is singing a self-composed musical about a violent triangle between Spider Man, an astronaut, and a soldier.

While cleaning out the couch cushions we discovered year-old raisins and pieces of pasta. Tobias wanted to eat them.
Me: No, Tobias. That is yucky.
Tobias: No yucky! Bite.
He ate them anyway.

"Um, mom? Should we be getting a new baby? Our one makes a lot of messes."