Drinking Problem

A while ago, I was at a friend's house. Tobias ate a rather soggy cheerio off of her back porch. She apologized but I replied that it was no big deal. My boys have put much worse things in their mouths- the most outstanding incident being when I swept out Gabriels mouth and found a dead cockroach. Anyway, as I related in an older post, poison-control and I go way back. My boys just have a penchant for putting things in their mouths that they should not. However, I now know the protocol for what to do when most household items are ingested so I haven't had to call poison control in a long time. Tobias decided that I should rekindle my relationship.
While I was in the bathroom, (moms of toddlers should really just have catheters) Benjamin decided to wash his hands with some hand sanitizer which he then gave to Tobias who decided to drink it. What to do? There was some on the floor, I didn't think the bottle was full when he got it but his breath definitely smelled sanitized so I knew he had ingested some, I just wasn't sure how much. I googled this issue to see what I should be looking for to know if he was drunk or even had alcohol poisoning. Here's the problem: the symptoms were useless. They were all things like, "Impairments of balance, unsteady gait". Yep, at 13 months he always looks like he's about to topple over. "Lowered decision making ability leading to erratic behavior" Remember the part where he drank, DRANK hand-sanitizer? Yeah, I think we've got those symptoms covered too. "Slurred speech" Can you even tell if a child's babbling is slurred or not? His "Ma-ma, Da-da and Ba-bas" didn't sound slurred to me but I couldn't be sure. "Volatile mood" This is a child who can be gigging hysterically one second and then will collapse in a forlorn heap on the floor because I inform him, in a gentle voice, that he may not play with the knives in the dishwasher. Mood swings? Check.
So, I had to call poison control. Luckily, it was a very small container of hand sanitizer and we knew he didn't get all of it, so with some simple math we could determine that he was not in danger of alchohol poisoning.
This kid is determined to keep us on our toes. Since then, he has eaten a fairly large quantity of Desitin. Yummy, but luckily this was one I was familiar with. He has also taken to climbing up on counters to steal food and non-food items alike. He loves to eviscerate fruit. I think he may, in fact, be a fruit bat.

Just yesterday, his "unsteady gait" caused him to trip head-first into the brickwork by the fireplace. So, he got his first set of stitches.

At least he got a clean bill of health at his most recent cardiology appointment. Looking at himself on my phone kept him fairly still during his EKG. I love the resulting photos.

We are so grateful for this kid even if he does act a little tipsy.