Panjandrum

We love the library. We love that we can borrow books, for free no less, which means we don't have to buy all of the books that our boys want to read. This is good, because sometimes our boys pick real winners- the kind of books that we are relieved to take back. Recently, they brought home a book that was mystifying. It was old, it was odd and frankly made one wonder about the author and illustrator. It was titled The Great Panjandrum Himself.

Apparently, this book was designed as a test of mental well-being because the back cover claims that, "...no healthy-minded man, woman or child can look at [the illustrations] without laughing."

I'm afraid to admit that, for me, the illustrations and text caused more puzzlement than laughter. The complete text reads:
So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage-leaf to make an apple-pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street, pops its head into the shop. "What! No soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Joblillies, and the Garyulies, and the grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch-as-catch-can till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.

So, now that you know the context of the pictures, are you ready to take the test? Remember, if you don't laugh when you see these pictures you should probably consult a psychologist.

Poor woman,This what my apple pies look like too. Her unfortunate baking is probably the reason she had to marry a man with such a very large, red nose. Also, using cabbage to bake an apple pie might not be the best idea.

This man has died from a lack of soap. I'm pretty sure this will eventually be the cause of death for one of our children. He hates bathing so much that I'm a little scared that we won't do it after he moves out of the house.

I love this phrase. Marrying a barber is absolutely imprudent. I mean, what if he uses your hair for practice and you are stuck with a flat-top, buzz cut, or, heaven forbid, a mullet? Also, is anyone else completely creeped out by the small smiling man-child-thing sitting on the gravestone?

This groom is so gifted at cutting that he is going to slice his wedding cake using a folded up piece of paper and a feather. Impressive. Maybe marrying him wasn't so imprudent.

Wow! Further proof of the groom's skills. He has just removed his right hand and grown a new one in it's place. Part man, part starfish that one.

This is, apparently, catch-as-catch-can. I'm not sure the details of the game but I am concerned that all of the men in the picture seem to have lecherous faces. This whole business seems a little risque for 1885.

Talk about cooling your heels. I love that the man is the one fanning himself in this picture. Also, keeping gunpowder in your boots, THAT seems imprudent. What if you explode?

Did you pass? No? That's okay. You know what they say, "A healthy mind is a boring mind," actually I think I just made that up. The point is... actually I'm not sure. The truth is, there is no point. It turns out that the text was, supposedly, written by British playwright Samuel Foote all the way back in 1754 to trip up some hot shot actor and orator named Charles Macklin who claimed that he could memorize any passage after just one reading. The story goes that Macklin was so indignant that he refused to repeat a word of it so we'll never know if he could have memorized it or not. Also, the oldest written copy of the verse that has been found so far was published in 1825 but by that time it was a well-known part of British culture so no one truly knows where it came from. At any rate, in 1885 Mr. Ralph Caldecott, of Caldecott medal fame, decided to illustrate this charming piece of nonsense and thus the library book. As it turned out, this was the last book that Caldecott would illustrate because he died the following year. So enamored were the Brits with the Great Panjandrum that they even named a WWII experimental explosive device after the fellow. It was a rocket propelled cart laden with explosives. It never saw battle because it's rocket-propelled wheels were just too unpredictable, but it certainly sounds exciting. You can see a modern-day mock up on youtube. You know, I've changed my mind about this book. Clearly, one can learn a lot from a bit of nonsense. I may not be healthy-minded but I am curious. Inquiring minds gotta know, even the Great Panjandrum Himself.